


How Harry Became Kyoko

by Starchains



Series: Beginnings and Becomings [10]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Adoption, Assault, Child Abandonment, Female Harry Potter, Gen, Name Changes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 23:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3707545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starchains/pseuds/Starchains
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being left in Japan was the best thing that ever happened to Holly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Harry Became Kyoko

I curled up on my lumpy mattress in the cupboard under the stairs and cried. We had drawn pictures of our families in class today, and I drew all four of us holding hands. I even wrote our names at the top in my best handwriting; 'Holly, Aunt, Dudley, Uncle'. I had to get Mrs Mallory to help me spell Uncle, and I practiced it on a spare piece of paper until I knew I could do it.

I thought that they would like it. Maybe Aunt Petunia would stick it to the fridge like she did with Dudley's pictures. Maybe they would see that I just wanted to be a part of their family, instead of trapped on the outside. But Aunt Petunia threw the picture in the bin and sent me to my cupboard. How dare I think that I was part of the family, on the same level as Dudley? How dare I think that she would want to hold hands with me? So I lay on my bed and cried, and wished for Mummy and Daddy, or anyone who could take away this awful aching pain, even though I knew that I would never deserve to be a part of a family.

I had known that they didn't want me. That the only reason they hadn't abandoned me yet was because it wouldn't be 'normal'. But I still believed, when they told me that I was coming with them to meet relatives in Japan, that they had changed their minds and wanted me to be a part of their family. Aunt Petunia even took me shopping for new clothes. I had two skirts now, and a pink blouse, and a blue dress, and sandals with bows on them. She even let me choose sparkly slides for my hair! I looked like a girl instead of a girly boy in too-big clothes like I did in Dudley's hand-me-downs. Aunt Petunia just huffed as I spun around and watched my skirt swirl, instead of grabbing my arm and telling me not to be silly. I let the warm bubble of hope in my chest grow. Maybe I had done something right for once?

I enjoyed the holiday. While Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon went out with Dudley, I stayed with Aunt Aiko and my cousin Ryohei. At first, Ryohei intimidated me. He seemed like Dudley, loud and big. But he treated me like I was made of glass, and was always trying to make me comfortable, fetching food and drinks and cushions and anything else he thought I might need. Eventually, I relaxed, purely so that he would relax as well. His whole face lit up when I smiled at him for doing something nice for him. It felt good to be protected, and it was wonderful to make someone else feel good. I didn't speak any Japanese, and Ryohei only knew the most basic English, but we still managed to get along, watching films together or helping Aunt Aiko cook. It was easier with Aunt Aiko there, because she could translate for us. Soon I knew some basic Japanese phrases – hello, goodbye, thank you, sorry, please, movie and extreme. The last one was something of a catchphrase for Ryohei.

I had been stupid to think that the Dursleys wanted me to share the holiday with them. They had told us that they were going to visit Tokyo for a couple of days, and had taken all of their bags with them. After a week, I realised that they weren't coming back. They had left me here, in this strange country, with a language I didn't speak, and relatives I had only met the week before. I hunched over on my chair in the sitting room, waiting for them to send me away, say that they didn't want me either.

"It's a pleasure to have you with us, Holly-chan," Aunt Aiko said. "I know this is all very sudden for you, but you are a part of our family."

She looked stunned when I started crying. Not quiet little tears, but gasping, wrenching sobs. The wrods that I'd waited so long for the Dursleys to say, and they were just given to me, so casually. It was like that ball inside me, full of hope and anger and pain and rejection, had burst open, and all of my tears were flooding out. Aunt Aiko just held me until the tears ran out. I sat quietly on her lap, my head resting on her shoulder. Neither of us said anything, and I stayed there soaking in her warmth until I fell asleep.

It was a week later when she asked me if I would talk with her. My heart fell at the look on her face. It was twisted and awkward, and her smile was false. She'd decided that she didn't want me. She was going to send me away. I forced a smile to my own face and nodded, sitting with her on the sofa.

"I want you to feel like a part of this family, Holly-chan," she started. Then she seemed to go in an entirely new direction. "My name was Amaryllis when I moved to Japan, you know. It was almost impossible for anyone to pronounce, and I felt like an outsider with such a different name to everyone else. So I started to tell people that my name was Aiko. It was such a little thing, but it made Japan feel more like home, and when I married Ichiro, I changed my name legally."

She looked at me expectantly, but I was lost. Was she not sending me away? It was a nice story, and I was glad that she'd shared it with me, but it felt like there was something she was trying to say, something she wanted me to understand. I just smiled at her, hoping that was enough.

"Holly-chan, I'm not trying to change your identity. Holly is the name that your parents gave you, and it's special. But I was wondering if you would like a new name, now that you're a part of this new family."

Her voice was hesitant and wary. What was she scared of? I felt like crying again. She didn't want me to leave the family, she wanted me to be a part of it. I couldn't speak, all the words were trapped in my throat. So I just nodded, beaming. Maybe I could actually belong here.

My new name was Kyoko. It had been the name that Aunt Aiko had wanted to call her daughter, before she had lost her husband. I had panicked, asked her if she shouldn't save the name. I didn't need such a precious name as that. Aunt Aiko had just smiled and hugged me. She told me that she was calling her daughter Kyoko. She had a plate of cake in front of me, and a piece of it in my mouth before I could figure out how to respond. All I could do was grab her, and hug her as tight as I could.

With my new name, I began to feel like I could actually belong here. I learned Japanese quickly, helped by the fact that my new brother couldn't speak English at all. Ryohei was a blessing to me. He accepted me as though I had always been a part of the family. When other children tried to bully me for my strange accent or the way I looked, he fought them and made them back off. I tried desperately to convince him that he didn't need to fight. I needed him to be better than Dudley. I couldn't handle it if my new brother was a bully as well.

He eventually realised what it was that was upsetting me. It took a while to communicate with him, because of my shaky grasp of Japanese, and his inability to pay attention to anything, but he started to fight only with people who hit first. I still didn't like it, but I didn't feel like it was right for me to limit him any further. He had already changed for me, and that was more than I deserved from him.

My resolve to keep from interfering in his fights lasted for two months. He still came home with bruised knuckles and black eyes, but his wide grin stopped my worried reprimands before they could begin. I only smiled at him and cleaned his cuts, fetching ice packs for his worst bruises. Aunt Aiko didn't seem to worry about it all, because 'boys would be boys'. She spent a lot of time making me feel welcome – teaching me to cook Japanese food, or doing craft projects with me. I left Holly behind me, and revelled in the feeling of being Kyoko; quiet, polite, capable and loved.

One day, as I was walking home from the park, a group of boys approached me. I recognised them as boys that Ryohei often fought with. I smiled at them, slowing down so that they could walk with me. Ryohei only fought with people who wanted to fight, so these must be friends of his. The leader of them grabbed my arm.

"Come quickly, Kyoko-chan! Ryohei's hurt!"

He tugged me along, and I ran behind him in a panic. What had happened to Ryohei? Where was he? We ran along to a deserted park just outside of town. Had he been fighting there? Had he broken something? My mind conjured up visions of him lying unconscious, bleeding, all that boundless energy lost.

He wasn't there. I tried to move forward, to look for him, but I couldn't see him. A tug on my arm reminded me of the grip, which turned harsh instead of guiding and reassuring. I looked into his face, and his cruel grin. He laughed at the tears in my eyes.

I tried to pull my arm out of his grasp. It was starting to hurt. This was very wrong. I wanted to go home, I wanted Aunt Kyoko. I had become soft and naïve here, forgetting that people like Dudley still existed. I was so stupid.

"Kyoko-chan!" I heard Ryohei yell as he raced across the park towards me. I started to call out to him, to tell him to leave. This had never been about me, I realised, and I couldn't let them hurt him. I tried to stomp on the foot of the boy holding me, tried to bite the hand that held my arm. Suddenly, pain erupted at the back of my head. The grip on my arm abruptly released, and I fell to the ground. After that everything was a blur.

When the world returned to focus, Ryohei was lying on the ground. I crawled over to him, crying, trying to ignore the pain in my head. It was harder than it should have been. I was so weak now, Holly would never have fallen for this. Holly could have kept Ryohei safe. But Ryohei would never have fought for Holly. He had come running because he was worried about me, had fought the gang to protect me. He was hurt for me, and he didn't seem to care.

Ryohei was smiling at me, despite the blood pouring down his face. The cut looked awful, I couldn't even see if his eye was still there. His whole head was bathed in crimson, and the smell made me gag. I grabbed his hand and held on. I knew I should run for help, for an ambulance, but all I could do was cling to him, reassure myself that he was still alive. He was babbling promises to me, about not fighting, about never losing again, but I barely heard them. He didn't blame me. He didn't see how this was all my fault.

"Onii-chan," I sobbed. "I'm sorry, Onii-chan."


End file.
